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Today.com is not paying as they promised. They say that they review posts but that portal they referred to posted that content after I posted it here. They copied my content.

So, I have decided to move to the site which copied the content and they actually pay up.

http://girlzinlove.com

It happens very often that you get bored in a relationship you are in for the past two or so years. It is natural, if not obvious to reach a stage where you crave for a change, a fling or just plain simple break. The two gravest mistakes people tend to make in this time are they curse themselves for the lack of loyalty or break up with that person altogether. I find these two as mistakes because you shouldn’t be blaming yourself for some thing that is very natural and almost bound to happen after a certain amount of time. Breaking up is not a solution either because more often than not, you’ll end up getting back together very soon. The reason being, in a long term relation, you get very “used to” even dependent on each other. Cutting off suddenly is bound to get you anxious.

So, we are right back to “bored and stuck” with some one. The first tip is to convince yourself it is temporary, at least initially. The next thing is telling your spouse how you feel “with decorated words”, if you are not close enough to say it directly. You could tell him/her that lately you’ve been feeling a little off. It is just a phase or a stupid mood swing. You need some extra space and time alone to get over with this. It is no big deal. Now, having dealt with the spouse, take some time off of calling and meeting with just them. Hang out with other friends; indulge yourself in stuff you love.

You will end up missing them after a very short while. And if you do not miss them at all, even after say a month, you need to ask yourself the big question. I wouldn’t say “break up”, I’d rather suggest to ask yourself what was keeping you together till now. If your answer is some thing like “It’s nice to have some one” or “It’s better her/him” than no one, then you need to consider letting go.

Don’t just go ahead and cheat or “not do anything about it” when you are bored. Get up and take action for life is too short to waste “bored”.

Casanova is the genre of men that is irresistible and the most annoying/irritating to deal with. But we all fall for it, once at least. We know this hunk is with more girls he can count, we know also that we are just one of the many but they say “heart sees no reason” or may be that’s just plain lust. Anyhow, “the heart wants what it wants” right? So, while you are at it, why not do it right? How about getting him to make you at least “special one among the many”? And yes, it is very much possible. Believe it or not, Casanovas have a pattern of behavior and some thumb rules too! The trick is to know them, and just like they do, exploit them.

The first thing to consider here is the type of Casanova the guy is. Yes, there are types! One is the real “if looks could kill” types and the other is “decent looking” with an amazing flair with the ladies. If it is the former, your task is a bit easier. The real great looking men are often highly self possessed male chauvinists. All they need is an equally good looking girl who treats them like crap most of the time in the name of “Attitude”. So, if your Casanova is the first type, you must look gorgeous, with or without any amount of makeup. And consider yourself the queen of the universe. And that’s it. Never, not ever, lower down on attitude and you got him booked. This does not say you will be the only one on his list, but it ensures that you make it to the “high priority” ones. With Casanovas, that’s a big feat.

If, however, you want the guy of the second type, a little more hard work is required. These guys rule mainly because of their skills with women. They know what strings to pull and also what tricks women do play. So, the things get a bit more difficult and slower in their case. Like them, have an attitude to kill for. Care about the rest of the world in name and become a master of highlighting your strengths, no matter how few they are. Try and look smart, not too sexy and feminine. Again, this does take you to the “only one” but very close to “the few good ones”. Try them out!

Many people take pride in “enlightening” you with the thought that every person is unique. This might be true for the “fairer sex”. Some may be smart, some pretty, some both, some none and some plain whacko! But in case of men, this is strictly not true. Men, the ones women should even be bothered about, fall into 5 broad categories. “Enlighten me” on any 6th you can come up with. So, here go your men, my ladies.

Type 1 – The Casanova
We are all too familiar with this kind, aren’t we? If you have caught even a single episode of the hit TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and you saw Joey Tribiani you know what I mean. The hunks who have been with more girls than your mood swings. The irresistible liars we know won’t even remember our name.

Type 2 – The opportunist
This type is actually very interesting. You know the times when you had a break up or had problems at home or any thing that has taken your mood six feed under and made you super vulnerable. The opportunist is the guy who happily volunteered their shoulder for you to cry on. They will support you, be with you, take all your frustration and still be super nice. These are actually the Casanovas who either didn’t have the looks or the talent to act like one.

Type 3 – The boyfriend material
This is the category most women “seriously” fall for. This is your decent, some what committed and mediocre “beauty with brains” guy. This is the guy who is on a constant lookout for “the perfect one” and he is still a “boyfriend material” if you are NOT that one! He will be nice to you, be decent, introduce you to his friends and “be together”. Loyalty, however, is not on hi s agenda, at least not a 100%. He is looking for better. You are the “temporary queen of his castle”.

Type 4 – The husband material
If you are “the perfect one” of a Type 3 guy, you found the husband material. Undoubtedly, there is a severe scarcity of men like these but they do exist! They will be LOYAL, hopelessly so. They are the kinds you can trust with your hottest friends, the ones who will love you even if you drove them insane for a month, the ones who accept your “unreasonable mood swings” as a character trait and finally who you’ll probably get bored off after taming them completely.

Type 5 – The friend/shy guy/geek
This is the category with the majority of guys. They are regular looking, decent and reasonable in objectifying women. This is your guy who helped you in your home work or computer failure. He’s the one who might actually blush if you give him a little casual flirt. He is also the one you have always turned to and found trustworthy.

Have you ever felt that a guy has the looks, the brains, the outlook and even the humor of your “perfect man” with a catch? The catch is the fact that he is not much of a “hit with girls”. He is wise but does not know how to really sustain or even entertain a girl. He is great in a group but when no one’s around, his guards shoot right up. Well, my dear ladies, if you didn’t already know, your “just quite perfect” man falls in the genre of “The Shy Guy”.

Now that you could find a guy so close to the man of your dreams, you can’t just let go! The first insight into the shy guys is that they are very much aware of their “shyness” and do want to get rid of it as much as you do. The catch, however, is the fact that the awareness makes them more self-conscious and you can even get the guy to blush if pushed too hard. The trick is to keep a fine balance between taking the lead yourself and still letting him be the “man”.

For starters, you SHOULD make a move. It is no big deal to flirt a little, make some witty remarks around him. Remember though that you need to do this initially in the presence of some good close friends. This “flirting” should be casual and light hearted. Usually, the initial reaction of your guy would be that of surprise and embarrassment, irrespective of whether he likes you back or not. Give him time to get used to it. The next best thing is to find things to talk about. Since this is not a regular guy, you need to make some effort to find things he is passionate about. Learn some about these things and talk about them with him. This would also give you a chance to get to hang out and may be “do some stuff together about it”.

Just remember to take it slow and not over do it. For instance, don’t let your friends “leave you two alone” every time you are in a group. Take it really slow and if you sense he is not getting interested still, back off in time. The problem with shy guys is that they are much better at avoiding girls than talking to them. So, go right ahead and pursue your “shy guy” but do remember to handle him with care.

I decided to take up the “don’ts part of the “Do’s and don’ts” in a relationship. It is almost ironical how people tend to overlook these little nibbles of what “NOT to do” when you are in a relationship that is some thing “more than friends”. So, for all you organization lovers and list enthusiasts, here’s a list that should be on your tips if you want your spouse and your friends, all at the same time.

1. Keep your best friend and the spouse at a distance, especially in the initial stages. It happens very often that the best friend, accustomed to having you all the time, gets overly frustrated with the new spouse. The wise thing to do is to keep some separate time, talks and activities especially for her, wherein you do things like before.

2. A very common scenario is a group of friends with that one guy or girl you like “more than friends”. The more common mistake is when you tell all your friends, including your best friend about it. What follows is a series of nagging remarks and a 24 x 7 pressure on both sides. The trick here is to either keep your friends at bay or tell them only if you are confident that they will behave. A new relationship needs space and time to blossom. Friends inevitable and unknowingly kill it some times.

3. “Together forever” and “made for each other” are highly overrated. Every relationship is bound to get a bit stale with passing time. Being humans, new people are bound to get you excited, even attracted. The key here is to be able to admit it to yourself and your spouse. Remember, actions are right or wrong, feelings are just feelings. You are not a saint, don’t pretend to be one or want one.

4. It is natural for every one to pretend some what when the relationship is budding but there are times when you ought to stand up and say what does not work for you. A mockery you don’t approve of, a joke you don’t find funny or a touch you are not comfortable with. Things like these need a polite but firm “NO”, from the beginning or else you loose the right to object without creating problems.

5. For once and for always, it is not OK to flirt around or to let others flirt with you if you claim to be “committed”. It is downright wrong to expect your spouse to be tolerant to this. Flirting is a big no-no even with your and your spouse’s friends. The casual frivolous flirt once a while may cause problems some times. So stay away from trouble there.

6. The relationship you have with your best friend and between you and your spouse are poles apart. Tell your best friend to treat your spouse as any new acquaintance with due respect and no prejudice or judgment. Tell her to take time to get comfortable with your spouse before she treats him with the same witty behavior as you.

7. The last and most ignored tip is not to let your new (or otherwise) spouse become the center of your universe, at least not when you are with your friends. The most irritating thing about your “committed” friends is their non-stop chit chat about the only topic they have. Spare your friends of ALL the details and try having fun with them as before.